This state is just a never-ending well of humorous news.
Finally, Darwin wins one…
“A Summerville [SC] man celebrating his 23rd birthday died early Thursday after he apparently tried to “slap the train” as it traveled past a local bar.”
For those of you who aren’t aware, Summerville, SC is one of the more redneck portions of our fair state, which is sort of like saying Everclear is one of the more potent alcoholic beverages you can buy at the liquor store. I did a few searches for articles on this story (which I had originally heard on the radio) but the local story direct out of Summerville was the best. I can’t fathom just how dumb or drunk one has to be to decide, after arguing with one’s significant other, the next appropriate action is clearly to stand next to the railroad tracks and slap a passing train. Absolute idiocy. Good riddance, and here’s hoping he didn’t breed.
(Unlike the Cletus family reunion we happened upon at our local pool hall last weekend. The concentration of skinny guys with tatoos and morbidly obese women was staggering. *shudder*)
A school district in New Jersey has decided to drop the “D” grade from the options. From now on, anything under a 70% is an F.
I’m sure this won’t cause even more grade inflation as parents turn on the heat to keep their little darlings from failing.
Under a new program, parolees will be doing upkeep on city properties in Buffalo. After a week long “life skills” course, they will spend a couple of months mowing lawns, boarding up vacants, and otherwise helping to improve some of the city’s impoverished neighborhoods. Hopefully they’ll manage to impress upon some of the kids in those neighborhoods the necessity of keeping on the straight and narrow.
For some reason, security guards and cops have this weird aversion to photographers. Despite repeated statements from top brass in just about every jurisdiction, they insist that it’s illegal to take pictures of certain buildings or trees or power plants or whatever.
This must stem from action movies. In every movie with a terrorist, the guy goes and takes pictures of the target. This never happens in real life, of course, because we have things like Google Maps instead – but in movies, you need _something_ for the guy to do so you can pad the whole thing out to 100 minutes. So, pictures.
Just in time to make your Monday morning more grim, here’s a rather histrionically presented list of 22 symptoms that seem to indicate that the middle class is vanishing in America.
Several of these, to me, look like direct results of the recent housing bubble burst. And some of them stink of manipulated statistics. But it’s tough to see something like “43 percent of Americans have less than $10,000 saved up for retirement”, in the land where pensions have vanished, and not think that we’re in for a bumpy ride.
So the Westboro Baptist Church (you know the wholesome folks that protest at dead soliders funerals) seemed to have met their match when they protested at Comic-Con.
That’s right you mess with the nerd’s you get the horns!
So some hipsters are trying to bring back cassette tapes.
“You don’t know exactly what to expect,’’ he says. “Each tape has a different sort of tension, and each player has its own level of push and pull on the tape itself, so it changes the recording a little.’’
Screw it, let’s bring back 3 1/2 inch floppies while we’re at it. Each disk is an adventure in and of itself. How much data is corrupted? What will destroy this disk, my watch or some sunlight?
Soundwave, sadly, couldn’t be reached for comment.
The Buffalo School District has decided to offer a retirement incentive plan this year; the result is that nearly twice as many teachers are retiring as normal.
The incentive is simple; you get credit for one additional month of teaching for every year you’ve been with the district for purposes of pension calculation. So if you’ve been a teacher for 36 years, you get an additional 36 months’ worth of credit and retire with a pension for 39 years of service.
This is probably not going to be popular with the public, who are already upset at the gold-plated pensions that teachers and other state workers get. But as someone with a lot of friends who are young teachers, it’s good to see that there are positions opening up for them and that the feared massive layoffs may not be necessary after all.