Seat Cushions

The NFL has banned seat cushions in their stadiums, because TERRORISTS.

Has everyone in this country lost their goddamned minds?

8 Responses to “Seat Cushions”

  1. Pitt says:

    I think the answer to your question is, if you’re talking about the people who make decisions that affect other people’s lives, yes.

    I heard they’re banning any carry-on bags that aren’t translucent. This fall’s latest fashion accessory: Celophane purses!

    “Why Mary, I had no idea you needed so many diaphragms…”

  2. matt says:

    I’m honestly surprised at the NFL, just because this is bad business. They’re already having trouble getting people to watch the games in person: the seats are uncomfortable, the tickets are expensive, the beers are terrible and overpriced, and you have to fight traffic both ways to even get there. So much easier to just sit home and watch better views of the game on HDTV.

  3. BrianN says:

    They will make you rent NFL seat cushions at $30/game. They will install them with devices that use weight to measure your beer consumption. Then they will sell this data to anheisur-busch.

  4. Pitt says:

    Everything’s insane. The last baseball game I went to I had a Polish sausage and a lemonade. It was 10 dollars. Work paid for my ticket to the game, so I justified the expenditure thusly, but still. 4 dollars for a lemonade and 6 for a sausage and a bun? Unfortunately, baseball is only interesting in person.

    Who wants to see me hit some dingers!

  5. matt says:

    I hope that was the best lemonade ever.

  6. BrianN says:

    They better put some bourbon in it.

  7. Pitt says:


  8. matt says:

    Fortunately, most of the sporting events I go to are either college or minor league teams — which means I can usually bring in my own food and drink. I think I spent a dollar on a tub of popcorn last time Dean and I went to see a baseball game.

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